Coming Out Story: Anonymous

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We’ve had an anonymous submission of a coming out story! If you’d like to share your story (today or over the next few days), we’d love to publish it! Get in touch with Elijah (campaigns@durhamlgbta.org.uk)! We also have a guide to coming out if you’re thinking of doing so [link].

[CN: acephobia] – Whilst this story isn’t entirely positive, I think it’s an important one – coming out doesn’t always go perfectly, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing! Some coming out experiences can be the happiest or most amusing stories you have.

The first time I came out to someone was in my last month at sixth form. Having spent the entire time there closeted, I intended to keep it that way (I had moved from a very liberal to a fairly homophobic area, and I didn’t feel like I could handle being out there.) Nothing about that coming out was planned – in fact, the decision happened in a club when the two friends I had come with tried to get me to dance/flirt with a guy from Manchester. I had resented being closeted for a while, I was incredibly uncomfortable in the club, and repeatedly being gently pushed in his direction was just the final straw.

I dragged my best friend outside (neither of us was drunk) and shouted at her (it was still quite noisy outside) that I was asexual and had no interest in flirting with anyone in that club. Her response was along the lines of “You’re being stupid, just go in there and have some fun. You’ll find the right guy soon!” as she dragged me back into the club. I felt like she’d punched me in the gut.

She never told anyone else in my friendship group from sixth form, and I have no idea if she actually took me seriously. I just slowly started to avoid her as much as I could. And I still haven’t come out to the rest of my friends from there (though I think most of them wouldn’t mind at all).

I did come out to my university friends in my first year, which went far better! In fact, our group had a little cascade of three of us coming out to everyone else.

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